My breath melted my words into strange alphabets

Seeing double?!
Not yet?
Then you haven't had sufficient Friday cocktails!
Go on....pour yourself something extra tasty, even if it's breakfast!
It's most certainly gin o'clock somewhere in the world!

How the hell did it come to be the first of December tomorrow?!
(cue trebley voice: December will be magic again!)
It's fecking insane, I tell you.
My Mama always told me that life goes faster the older you get.
How damned unfair!
Just when you're getting a handle on things, finding confidence in your ageing skin, finally not giving a pink feck what anyone thinks of you...shazzam, slamdunkaroony, you're flying through the remainder of your life at such a fast pace that your drink spills!
So bugger it all, why shouldn't you break a few rules and prance around like a ninny.
I most certainly spent most of my week doing just that, and intend to continue.
And I'm likely to wear tights with open toe shoes or sandals over the weekend....
I'm just outrageous like that.
What rule are you sexacious beastesses going to break with me?!