05 December 2012

Gambled every bit of sense I had



A family bbq on Saturday found me in a park with my tights around my knees.
It's not as dodgy as you think.

Because I'd been grizzling about getting a pair of white tights splattered with muck, (most likely my bicycle being the culprit) G insisted I take off these nice white tights for our bicycle journey, and pop them on in a park near the brother and sister-in-laws.....


Whereupon I tried  discreetly to get them on behind a bush...and got sprung by a gaggle of teenage girls.
O joy.
I sternly told them that there was "nothing to be seen here, girls", but G couldn't resist adding "nothing dodgy, anyway..." and they sped off looking more than a little alarmed.
Doesn't everyone get changed in the park?!
Perhaps not.
And why o why did it have to take twice as long as usual to get them on?!

They watched our little photoshoot from a distance and hopefully had  a nice little tale to tell over the dinner table.

At least it wasn't my knickers around my knees...or ankles...
I may have been arrested!
Oooer!


Frock-70's, opshopped and altered considerably by moi
Belt-opshopped
Tights-retail
Shoes-thrifted in New Mexico
Handbag-60's vanity case, opshopped
Sunglasses-opshopped
Bow-San Francisco
Brooch and earrings-gift from G

Am I the only idiot to be caught in such a compromising situation?!
It wasn't the first time; it probably won't be the last!
Tell Aunty Helga when you were last caught with your tights (or knickers) down!

X

43 comments:

Ulla-Marie Nilsson said...

So innocent and sinful at the same time!

bonsaimum said...

LOL. Thankfully I haven't been caught--yet.

List Addict said...

Oh dear. Lucky it was worth it - you look stunning! Love the zing of the light, bright blue with red. I am too ashamed of the last tights-down episode to mention it. It involved champagne, the races and a security guard. But I did manage to joyfully walk the streets for a good half an hour the other day before someone kindly asked me if my dress was supposed to be artfully tucked up (into my leggings) that way! Thanks all the other people that said nothing!

Camelia Crinoline said...

I always have that problem with white tights. They get mud stained so easily. I'm sure you gave those teenage girls a thrill. That dress is fabulous. I love the vanity case too.

edie pop said...

No I've never been caught with my tights off and honestly I'm quite sorry that this has never happened, it sounds thrilling!Those girls would always remember a beautiful, stylish lady getting undressed in the park, that's epic!You are wonderful in that fabulous frock and the baby blue shoes are beautiful!
Love xxxxxx

Hannah said...

Looking like a ray of colourful loveliness my dear! Aha I have had my dress caught in my knickers before now, very mortifying. A top one for me is my blouses busting open without me noticing, luckily its only ever been a few moments till I a=heve noticed. xxxx

two squirrels said...

oh Hello gorgeous Miss Helga!!!!! Looking so stunning in your red and white frock!!!! Love the blue shoes too!!!!
Big hi to Mr G!!!!
Tights and Forrest always go together, just ask Robin Hood.
Sending a very big squirrel hug and much love V

Perdita said...

Adoring the colour and shape of those shoes! They vividly remind me of my misspent youth doing 60s-revival nonsense in the 90s, that colour basically WAS my summer wardrobe! Ah, the memories of youth.

Fiona said...

You are splendiferous in this frock and yes I have been in a park with my knickers round my ankles several times. Not for slap and tickle you understand but for a wee behind a tree! Used to go to a pub gig opposite a park and the queue for the ladies loo was so long I'd nip over to the Rec for the call of nature. Won't be doing it yoday though...it's snowing! x

Misfits Vintage said...

Once I was walking through the streets (of Lismore, of all places!) in a long cotton Indian maxi, and my geriatric knickers lost their elastic - I just stepped out of them and kept walking. What else is a girl to do!?

You are EXQUISITE, mi amor - the frock is splendid and the colour combo with the blue accents is farking inspired. I LOVE this combo. Almost as much as I love YOU! Sarah xxxxx

Sue said...

You so will be a legend of the park now!! Bus loads of school girls will be heading there now for a quick peek at you and G!!! You are such a laugh!!

Carina Rosenholm said...

Oh Helga - nobody tells a story like you ! Looking fab !

Marla said...

I love your blog. That red skirt with that top is fab. Love the little turquoise flower brooch.

Vix said...

What a divine 1960s frock, made even more splendid by the addition of you in it! Bloody uncouth teenagers, popping up at the most inclement of times.
Like Sarah I've had to abandon my knickers when the elastic gave way. I've also been caught weeing naked at a festival as I stupidly wore a catsuit with no undies underneath ,you know what it's like when nature calls and the queue for the portaloo's about 50 strong!
Love! xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sissy said...

Oh dear this was ages ago after a Beat Farmers gig at the Belly Up Tavern in Solana Beach, my girlfriend and I were completely smashed and wanted to go sober up a bit with a walk on the beach before driving (yeah, that was going to do it ha) so I plopped down on a curb to undo my stockings and walk bare feet, of course one of the band members just happened to be walking past at the time...eh I felt like a damn fool with my dress up to my navel! thanks for the post and a laugh, have a great day Helga!

MistressCatgirl said...

You look so pretty! I love the detail of the belt.
One night while I was messing around with the Mr. My in-laws came home unexpectedly and we had to get dressed in a hurry. I went sans undies to speed up getting dressed. They were none the wiser until the dog stole my undies and buried them in the litter box. Yeah, I was mortified. I couldn't look my in-laws in the face for a while.

menopauselsupermodel said...

Gorgeous frock--I love red and aqua togther!!
I am rofl at the mental picture of you in the shrubs with your tights half on!!!

I'm not going to incriminate myself with any stories involving me in a stae of partial undress in public.......

pastcaring said...

What a stunning frock, you look quite adorably beautiful. The belt looks as though it's part of the dress, it's so RIGHT! Love the white tights and the baby blue bits too.
I used to have Descending Tights Syndrome a lot, till I gave up on the dreaded One Size (doesn't fit all) so it's less of an issue now. Had a bit of leather-look leggings descending action on Saturday actually, which was thankfully covered up by a dress, and some judicious yanking up... I've yet to lose my knickers. But it's bound to happen one day, and I will laugh and think of YOU! xxxx

Franca said...

tee hee!

Loving the dress! You are the queen of red white blue!

Krista said...

This dress is so cute! That is my ideal shape on a dress short and sweet! I am loving it with your blue shoes and the added bow from San Fran, perfect finishing touch. HAHA that they thought you guys were up to something...you look like the type and I mean that as a compliment!
Last time I got caught with my knickers down I was in a porta potta at a festival and my friend walked off (she was supposed to be watching) and some dude opened the door. Hello, was all I could muster.
XXOOO

Bella Q said...

Right when my blogger crush couldn't get any crushier you go about with your pantyhose half down looking this kind of delicious!

Renia said...

You look beautiful! I love mix of red and white:) Kisses x x x x x

The Pugnacious Vegetarian said...

I love those shoes! As for the last time I was caught with my tights down, perhaps I should send you an email to tell you about it :)

pastcaring said...

Pat Benetar!
Just seen your comment at Clare's, and thought not remembering who sung Fire And Ice might be driving you crazy! xxxx

Miss Simmonds Says said...

You look bloomin gorgeous!! Love the white tights with that modette dress, they were worth a tumble in the bush. Would've loved to have seen those girls faces!!
My tights were falling down again today. Not good to have a cold wind blowing up yer growler in freezing temperatures. Also in the summer, running for the bus my knickers nearly fell all the way down, I was holding on to them for grim death. Luckily there was no one else sitting at the back so I could slip them off.

Gawd, we're like something from a 70s sitcom. I can imagine Mrs Slocombe saying exactly what you said! You're channeling her!! Xxxx

Forest City Fashionista said...

I can just imagine the conversation those teenage girls had later on - good for you for managing the situation with aplomb! I have had a pair of tights creep down to where the crotch was at my knees and I had to hold them up until I could get home and change, but I've never lost my knickers (at least not yet, but there's still time..).

The Grande Dame said...

Hehehe... I do like your 'stern' response to the pervy teenagers. All the little pops of blue in your ensemble are too cute!

Vintage Coconut said...

*ooo* This had me laughing. I too have been caught in strange situations having to do with clothing. The worst was the time I somehow got a GRASSHOPPER in my pants!!Of course I didn't know what it was at the time it happened. And I ripped my pants off in a mall parking lot screaming. (I bet people thought I was on drugs and hallucinating.) *ROFL* (Those grasshopper legs feel very creepy when they are in places they shouldn't be.)

YOU LOOK DELIGHTFUL in the white and red. p.s. I would have watched you yanking your tights up myself... it would have made my day. LOL @ G's comment.

Rose&Bird said...

You look fantastic, certainly gave those girls something to talk about! Can't say I remember any similar situations, my past is pretty boring really!

delia hornbook said...

ha ha ha bless you ;-) God mine was years ago before i had my boys i decided it would be a good idea to go in the evening drinking and clubbing wearing a black and white polka dot swimming costume and a pair of tight jeans. Soooo not a good idea when your drinking cider and need to pee and the only place is the park by the river jeans round my knees and trying to pull my costume apart while trying to stay up right and not get any on my clothes while my mates are laughing there heads off. Ah well we live and learn ;-) You look gorgeous by the way, dee xx

Style Sud-Est said...

Too funny i think something similar happened to me too!
Perfect outfit Helga

Love all the details and those powder blue vintage shoes - OMG seriously gorgeous my dear!

What is that ring in your middle finger? Ganesh? if it is cool ring!

Xxxxx

señora Allnut said...

love your white tights and pretty frock, that little polka dots are so cute!
and I was caught pulling up my tights in a corridor near my office, I thought it would be a very discreet place to do it!
ridiculous!
besos

Bohemian said...

What a hilarious story!

Thanks for stopping by for a Blog Visit.

Merry Christmas from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

Emalina said...

Teeheee your story made me giggle! I can think of equivalent stories from the past: getting caught mooning in a cemetary whilst having a wee; the ubiqitous skirt-tucked-in-to-tights upon leaving the toilet in a trendy bar.

Wonderful outfit, it was well worth keeping those tights white and beautiful..

WendyB said...

I shudder at the thought of a flock of teenaged girls.

Emm said...

So cute! Love the colours :)



Emm
SPIN DIZZY FALL
Visit me at http://spindizzyfall.blogspot.com.au/

freckleface said...

Chortle! What a great yarn. That really made me giggle :) Back in my schooldays, when I had no hips, I once dropped a petticoat on the way to assembly. I was ashamed because it was nylon, school-laundry-grey and deeply unattractive.

liz said...

Ahhh those shoes are so good! With the white tights I'm getting "Alice in Wonderland" vibes! :)

Mrs. D said...

Oh my what a story!!! I don't think I have anything remotely as funny as that to tell. I normally get embarrassed by saying the silliest things around people with no sense of humour...

That dress is amazing by the way.

PS: I am now at www.hellothemushroom.com

Sacramento Amate said...

I always melt inside when I look at you. Cannot put it into words, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Million of tight hugs!!!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Amber of Butane Anvil said...

I love all of G's "helping"! Aaaa! Good for you, showing them how it's done - they will come to have their own moment, in time, as do we all. I adore your dots-and-dots belt and frock, and blue shoes!

joyatri said...

Oh my, shocking the young 'uns like that. I can't tell anyone about the time I was caught with my knickers down (it was 35 years ago anyway). More recently, I removed a half slip on the London Tube like it was the most natural thing to be doing in public.
I envy your outdoor photo shoots in sunlight. Although you'd shine no matter what the weather conditions.

Devil made in Heaven said...

LOL, ow this story made me laugh. Thank god I've never been caught yet. (Sometime's when I really really have to pee and there is no toilet availeble I go behind a tree or bush... )
I really love your dress. I would have bought it immediately when I've seen it. You look stunning in it.
xxxx