Acting quite civilised around the kiddies

How do you fancy G as a family man?!

Justine having a bit of a nosh.....

and looking saucy with our lovely Gilberto the Great.

Quite the family afternoon, here I am with Baby Rose.

With Gilberto and Justine.

G and sweet Helm , whom we don't see as often as we'd like.
Helm, incidentally, is the possessor of the biggest wang I have ever seen.
I kid you not, he packs one hell of a love truncheon.
Justine and I once asked him to show us, as we'd heard of its glory, and Helm ever so obligingly flopped it out for us to have a gander.
Whereupon we screamed with shock and ran away.
Seriously, John Holmes has a rival.
Aside from that, he is a lovely man, and a mega talented artist.

Aw, and a noice family portrait to finish.
I didn't take as many pix as I thought!
O well!!
You're all rather marvelous for enjoying my fabulous maxi!
Yes, you are!


Mrs Cleaver said...

I have just finished reading your entire blog.I started after i found your blog yesterday .Obviously i was doing things in between reading,can't neglect the kiddies:D
I just thought you looked so fab in your maxi i had to see more.:)
Anyway i wont ramble on & sound like a sychophantic idiot,i'll just say i think your bloody fabulous & i look forward to perusing your blog on a regular basis.Your my kind of woman!:D

RETRO REVA said...

Oh no !!!!
I hope the pearls are OK !
Send the pic to this address:
as my e-mail addresses are all wonky right now.

Alex said...

A wang story before 9.30am! Good job I've already had a coffee!! Hahaha!! I bloody love you Helga - very few other bloggers would share that sort of thing with their readers. Helm has rather spiffy trousers on too - does that it make it legitimate for me to be checking out his lower half? It's sartorial interest, honest....

Anonymous said...

Heh heh heh. You make me laugh lady. Also, how cute is the baby's lil face in the last pic?! The scrunched-up grin on her! What a gorgeous little girl!
xx Comtesse xx

1950's_atomic_ranch_house said...

Hahaha!! Well NOW you have to show us his weenee!! Show your weenee! Show your weenee!

Is that a rack of whips back there, or computer cables? lol...

Christina @ Fashion's Most Wanted said...

Dearest Helga, you are hilarious. I love the extra details about Helm. Very funny!

The Actor and I usually go to drinks parties late if children are attending! xx

liz said...

love that green flower on top of your head! adorable!

Brians an unusual name for a girl said...

Now darlin you have to tell us how you heard about it?

Brians an unusual name for a girl said...

BTW I LOVE how you refashioned that dress.It looks fantastic now

Miss Claire said...

Haha, Oh Helga!!

Misfits Vintage said...


A giant wang conversation and I missed it! Hang on, I need a little lie down for a sec... I'm swooning. We need pics... go on, it doesn't sound as though Mister Helm is shy about his master blaster!!!

And OMG how FABULOUS do you look in that maxi - I LOVE the print and you can definitely wear the shit out of it either way - as skirt or frock.

And this is why you're my favourite Helga... you make me smile like nobody else!

Sarah xxx

La Dama said...

Opps commented on wrong post about wang ,lol
Bloody ipad..i would like to seeu too with a bebe..lovely day and friends.