The one where I give a bride-to-be an impromptu lap dance

What follows in a true account of my Saturday.
Our lovely friends, Gillian and Wayne, took themselves out to Hanmer Springs (about 1 1/2-2 hour drive North West of Christchurch) for the weekend, and invited us out on the Saturday to hang out.
I drove out as far as Hurunui, and then we had a lunch and drinks break, and G drove the rest of the way, to the tunes of The Strokes.
Bit of a bitter wind, but the sunshine was jolly splendid!
This is the frock I got at the church fair last week!
Perfect comfy casual Summer wear!
So we arrived about 1:30pm, had a few drinks, then Gill took me off for a 2 hour massage.........heaven!
When we got back, it was time to crack some bubbly, and have a laugh at G, who in our absence had mistaken himself for a young buck, tried to jump a fence and promptly pulled a calf muscle!
Then we wandered off (very slowly on G's part) into town for a nice, casual dinner.
Love this building!
We went to an Indian restaurant which had some good reviews.
Beside us was a table of ladies out on a hens night.....
The poor bride had a list of "tasks" she had to accomplish.
One was to persuade a man wearing Y fronts to take them off and give them to her.
G doesn't wear classic Y fronts, but was sporting a fab pair of canary yellow Bonds man panties and even more sportingly presented them to her....thankfully minus a "wet penny".
Another task was to perform or receive a lap dance.
I decided that the least I could do was to perform said lap dance for the poor lass.
Better me than some nasty sleazey sweathog!
I'm a nice sleazey only slightly perspiring trollop!
It's in two parts, as G thought I had finished, but o no, I was on a roll!

I don't think she expected any of that!


Misfits Vintage said...

Ooh that lucky LUCKY girl!!! What a FABULOUS lap dance from the hottest wench in NZ!

And do NOT bring that frock in February as I will have NO hesitation in stealing it. I mean it. I'm serious. Seriously.

Your smile is so beautiful and I do admire a man who wears yellow jocks. MMeeeOOOWWW!

Love! Sarah xxx

Miss Claire said...

Ahahaha, that is such a good story!! Look how giggly she was! Lucky girl, I bet we all wish we could have a Helga lapdance!!! You guys are so mcuh fun Xoxox

PS Love the dress on you! Xxx

pinktutu72 said...

Wowzers hottt stuff!

Hannah said...

Hah you are awesome! x

Luna Tiger said...

oh my god ! you're such a great lap-dancer !!! you move like a goddess !!!!

Loo xx from Jumbles and Pompoms said...

That's hilarious. Really made my day seeing that video. Love it!

trashsparkle said...

So funny! She definitely got to tick off those 2 tasks big-time... brilliant! xx

Daniel said...

Come to Portugal for some Holidays Please ! You are just my absolute definition of perfection! You already know I love the sunnies ! Kiss ma "BABUSCA" FABULOUS "HELGANESKA" !

Sissy said...

...gonna start calling you "The Natural" - haha, great vid and love the dress!

Vix said...

I'm tempted to get married just so's you can give me a glorious lap dance! Drool, check out your hot legs!!!
What divine canary yellow pants G owns. What a lucky bride-to-be.
I adore that frock on you, one of my top ten Helga dresses ever I reckon.
Hope G's back fence jumping soon.
Love you!

Shewearscrazywell said...

Oh my gosh...that was hilarious! My love for you grows with watching that awesomeness!!! What a lucky bride to be! :) You two are such amazingly good sports :). I looooove that dress you were wearing, so bright and pretty! This post makes me what to kidnap you and G for a week or two at my'd be such a party! Hearts, Janna Lynn

KibitzKnitz said...

Wha-Hahahahaha!! You are so Awesome!! That lucky Bride to Be will have the best Marriage because of you two, now that she knows what her Feller has to live up to! An I totally covet that dress!! Such a lovely, breezy way to pass the afternoon lounging around with friends, bubbly and lovely togs.

Hope you had a great trip and that G is on the mend soon...

pastcaring said...

Woo hoo, Helga does lap dancing!!!
What wouldn't all your followers give to have THAT experience!
You've got the moves, babe, and G's got the pants - well, not any more, since he donated them...
You look divine in that gorgeous frock, sounds like you had a fabulous weekend, hope G's pulled muscle is on the mend (no sniggering please!)
LOVE the pic of the two of you - aaahhhh!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

señora Allnut said...

such a funny story, whahahhhha, and you're the queen of dancing sexiness!!!
And I'm loving your dress (and the long jean jacket!), and your great attitude boozing on a pretty landscape background!!!!, absolutely fabulous!
besos & bebidas

Straight Talking Mama! said...

I think you probably made her hen night!! You are truly fabulous lady :o)

Mrs Munster said...

You gorgeous crazy lady :) You seem like such a lot of fun to have around. Love you and G in matching denim tops!

Dashfield Vintage said...

Ha ha ha oh deary me! That looks like a whole lot of crazy fun! Love your beautiful dress by the way, what a great score.

Sue, Joe and Michael Webber said...

I just suffered a moment of urinary incontinence whilst expressing mirth and delight! What a truly magnificent Trollope you are! And ya got great legs girl! :D ♥

Louise said...

Aw, poor G... Although I did have a chuckle too but I've just got that horrible sort of humour.

That lucky hen getting a Von Trollop lap dance, she looks like she'd having a hoot! Xx

Kitty said...

cor, look at all the mad fun I've been missing out on while I've been busy slaving away! You guys can give me a lap dance and pants any day, what good sports you both are.xx.

Style Sud-Est said...

Hi Darling Helga,

I you are crazy, i was laughing so hard seeing you lap dancing, so funny! you crazy girl, just crazy!
Love it!

Your frock is fabulous!

Lots of kisses Helga

Ariane xxxxx

Vintage Coconut said...

That girl is gonna remember you two for the rest of her life I presume! *Omg* You and G are awsome.
I adore that dress to no end on you alsoooo It is scrumptious!
I have no idea why but when I seen your topic title... I some how read "OOMPA LOOMPA" lmao I think it had to do with the word impromptu ... how strange!

Misfits Vintage said...

I've come back for another look - at YOU in that frock - and at your LAP DANCE!

Love! Sarah xxx

Trees said...

Helga! You classic! :D Your adventures always make me smile.

tralala said...

Only you can top that H - amazing moves, amazing outfit - thanks SO MUCH for sharing.

You are a total icon xx

Krista said...

Oh jeez that was friggin amazing!!! Where was I when all this was happening? You are the best Helga and I bet that is one dance she will not soon forget.

You look scrumptious is your new frock and what a lovely day eating yums and walking about. Love G's Ramones t-shirt, totally suits him.

Ok I'm pervering out just watched it again. YOU ROCK you sex goddess!

Mary Lou said...

haha such a great post, now you are for me helga incredible;) i think you could make a business of that, rent a helga.. you not only have always the most fabulous frocks, (i love the colours of this one) no you are really such a cool lady too!
love and kiss,mary

Crystal Lee said...

hahahahaha! Love it! You two are an amazing couple.

La Dama said...

What a lucky biatch a lap dance by our darling Helgita.
You are a daredevil, I would of been blusing like a loca unless I had a little tequila I would been freaking with you. love G man's Ramones shirt and yellow draws.

Hot Pink Combat Boots said...

You are so bold, I love it. I would have been the one in the background taking the photos. You must be an absolute blast to hang out with!! Your friends are soooo lucky.