What would life be like as a Medieval Wench?!

A room stripped bare!

Frock-60's, opshopped
Disco belt-gift from lovely reader
Diamante buckle-Sue
Tights-Love to Dance
Shoes-retail (sale)
Necklace and brooch-gifts from G

G and I have been glued to Game of Thrones lately!
Last year our passion was Downton Abbey, and though that has not waned, it has been temorarily usurped by Sean Bean and his manliness....


We really like the dwarf, he's got all the best lines!
This is the same dude who had me screaming with hysterical laughter in Death at a Funeral a few years back!

We finished watching the entire first season last night, after 4 nights of fairly intensive viewing!

I do rather like a medieval styled frock and pretty flowing hair.

But what would life really have been like for a wench such as myself?!
Bloody miserable, I reckon.
Even if one was lucky enough to be born into wealth, one would still have been riddled with all sorts of vermin and creeping, pustulant type disease.
Things oozing out of and crawling upon ones person....ugh.
No washing machine, no hair volumising spray, no lash lengthening mascara.....
No sewing machine, no tampons, no lycra!
And that's just the tip of the iceburg of modern delights!

Would these be termed "good old days"?!
I think not!

PS: Due to my own idiocy, this post from 2 days ago (assuming this internal link works, it often doesn't for me; I suspect I don't know how to do it properly!) wouldn't have shown up in your readers.....do go and admire the fabulous frock I'm wearing, darlings, it really is worth your while!


Sue W @ Living the Good Life said...

I think you would be a comely wench fer sure! I've tagged you in a photo on Facebook, I rather like being a Victorian tart!! ;-D ♥

Hannah said...

Love those shoes and the dress, yeah would not want to live in Medieval times, no electric blanket! xxx

Trees said...

I think being a wench would be no fun at all!! No sewing machine? Forget about it. Loving this red and white outfit:)

Vintage Sweetheart said...

You look like a lovely candy cane all stripey!! I love those shoes. xxxxxx

Penny-Rose said...

You look fabulous as always = where do you get your fabulous tights and hosiery from??? You must have a collection as spectacular as your shoes.

delia hornbook said...

I would have hated it that is for sure there is going backwards and going back to far in my book ;-) Loving both dresses you look great. Love the red with the white tights and cardigan. dee xx

Anonymous said...

Over and above the comforts (and medical advances), women were treated pretty much like shit or as some kind of trading card in the olden days. Also no birth control so constant fear of getting sprogged up yet again.

I think it must have smelled quite badly too lol.


Ronnie (RR) said...

Fabulous ruffled underskirt, and I love the colour of your tights with those shoes

Max said...

Bloody love the spotty frock with the red tutu thigy underneath. Nearly but not quite as much as sean bean-yum!

Straight Talking Mama! said...

I may have the bosoms for it but I don't much fancy it! I also may love the 50s but I wouldn't want to go back there, I'd be far too mouthy and forward for those times :o)

Vix said...

Tralala said exactly what I thought, being constantly sprogged up without birth control, how utterly vile!!
No hair dye, no charity shops, washing with dead animal fat, plague...dreadful. I shudder to think of it so I'm focussing on your sublime frock and utter fabulousness instead and those gorgeous shoes and killer bag!
I don't get Sean Bean, he has no lips.
Love you more than wenches!

two squirrels said...

I think even being a princess would suck!!!
Anyhow, how would we be able to see the fabulous Miss Helga everyday, no blogs!!! Now that sucks.
You are a candy dream in the lolly stripes and those shoes!!!!!!!!
Yay the polka dot dress is amazing with the underskirt and it was so meant to be for you. Happy squirrel!
Love v

Misfits Vintage said...

Oooh I LOOOVE teh red and white outfit! The stripes are DELIGHTFUL and I ADORE your shoes and the gorgeous felt BROOCH! Where is the wall? What is going on? Was that supposed to happen?

And I agree - I could not live without all of my wonderful modern things - including my PHONE (when it works!)

Ooh the polka dot frock is WONDERFUL!!!

Love you way more than polka dots, Sarah xxx

sacramento said...

You are always so much fun, my dearest friend.

Melanie said...

Shoe love! Shoe love!

Sue said...

Medieval life style "NO", but the bosom lifting long dresses weren't too bad, and gloriously long hair, and all those well built real men, crikey!!! My friend had a medieval party for her 40th and it was hilarious to dress as a buxom wench, tits out and smiling!! Think I have photos of that night!

Vintage Curly Girly said...

How I adore you in polka dots and a flouncy underskirt! Xx

Nelly said...

Id love to chat to you about GOT great read great watch Love the Dwarf one of my fav characters Please read the book if you can Least you ownt be waiting 6 yrs for the last one like I was lol.Just be waiting for ??? for the next now.Lets hope the 2nd series of the TV show is quick to come out.

Ivy Black said...

That's a step back in history too far for me. Seeing as I wouldn't have been a rich landowner's missus, it would have been awful...smelly, lice infested, pox ridden, hard work, religious mania and persecution would have abounded and there would be a lack of teeth in the head. I'd have probably gone to a convent and illustrated manuscripts until I dropped dead!! Lets all stay here....it's much nicer!xxxxxx

pastcaring said...

No, medieval wenchdom holds no appeal for me, in fact most previous eras seem like a bad bet once you get right down to it... The sixties is about as far back as I'd go! (Oh right, I actually was here then...)
As soon as you get back to before antibiotics and decent medical treatment, I don't want to know!
But the fashions, darling - that's a different issue altogether! You would make a wonderful medieval wench, with your heaving bosom on display for his Lordship and a full swishy skirt. Ooh, yes, please m'lady!
Looking hot in red'n'white, Helga, and the shoes are spectacular! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

karensomethingorother said...

I love the bright, happy, saturated colours you put together, Helga. I DID see that post and loved your do it in the road theme. Did I comment on it, or did I PULL A KAREN and just THINK I commented...

Anyhoo, Game of Thrones stressed me. The Man read the books, so after another character I loved bit the dust, I said to him; "okay, that's it. You're going to have to tell me EVERYONE else who dies, because otherwise I can't take it and can no longer watch the show."

Love the dwarf too!

p.s. if I went back in time, I'd bring a SACK of deodorant.

Miss Simmonds Says said...

no thanks to Medieval life, I catch enough colds so I'd be dead of the plague by now. Though they had more national holidays and paid less tax. You divine as ever! So does Sean... sigh. Need some Sharp re-runs to keep me going

seƱora Allnut said...

delightful fabulousness in red colors!, love your dresses (both) and love every accessory you wear!
And I'm very happy living in these modern times, love too much my washing machine and all that decadent comfort I live with!

Anonymous said...

I like being in modern times too much but it IS fun to dress up like it's olden times!
I love that whole outfit you look spectacular!
Sean Bean is a hottie for sure!

Krista said...

You look candy stripper delicious and your shoes are made for tapping. SWAK!!!!

I tried reading the first book of The Game of Thorns...OMG tough read, too many characters everyone dying I so wanna watch the series that I can handle. I agree I would hate to have been born back then, NO PINK, I mean where is all the color huh?!!!


Rose&Bird said...

You'd make a fab buxom wench my dear! I'm with the others - love the dresses, but not the rest of it!

Have you read any of Barbara Erskines' novels - not all medieval (and a bit fantastical), but certainly give some picture of what life was like for women centuries ago.

Tomye said...

I am not a Midieval Wench, but I wouldn't mind playing one on TV. I adore the polka dot outfit and think you make a scrumptious modern day cutie! xxoo

La Dama said...

You make a boobylicious wench ,but I think it wouldnt be much fun living in that time. too many rules!
I need to check out that show.
your looking deliciosa in your red striped candy frock.
loving the red petticoat peek, cute polka dot number amor.

Louise said...

Ah indeed, I think life as a medieval wench would not be as glam as TV would have you believe. I do love a medieval frock. Xx

Camelia Crinoline said...

I love the dress. Red and white stripes are fabulous. The sequin belt is great too. I've watched a few episodes of Game of Thrones. Medieval life looks super depressing and cold.

Miss Peregrin said...

I loooooove that sequin belt, and those gorgeous shoes! Both your frocks are aces too.

owlinalarkworld said...

Candy cane colours without looking Christmassy. Good stuff.

Mary Lou said...

i love that red dress with sequined beld and oh gosh your shoes are adorable too!
and even if i love medieval faires and dresses i´m very glad to live now, so at least they won´t burn me as a witch haha
love and kiss,mary

Anonymous said...

no tampons...I can't imagine.