Dry Humping


Blame Desiree.
She keeps dry humping inanimate objects, and threatening to dry hump me too.
Frankly, I'm all for it.
And I heard the most amazing dry humping song not so long ago; it's been playing on frantic repeat, in my head, all day.
My first dry humping experience was at the tender age of 15.
His name was Paul, and he was my huge crush in the first 3 years of highschool.
It was a school dance, and it was quite the revelation!


Ah, reminiscing....


Frock-60's, Dashfield Vintage
Stole-Trade Me
Belt-70's, opshopped
Handbag-50's/60's, opshopped
Tights-Sarah
Sandals-Trade Me
Faux pearl bracelet and 50's sunglasses-Sue
Earrings-Vanessa
Fabulous headpiece-made by the loving hands of my wonderful friend Claire

X

36 comments:

Max said...

love them shoes H. i dont think i've ever heard a song about dry humping, but as it would make a nice antidote to the wiggles i keep humming to myself perhaps you could enlighten us as to the song, singer, lyrics?

SACRAMENTO said...

I have the urgent need to come over and hug you all, my dearest friend in Australia, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Penny-Rose said...

Looking fabulous as always Helga.

Camelia Crinoline said...

You look fabulous. I love the colours in the frock and you always have the most amazing confections on your head. So, what's the dry humping song? We're all gagging to know.

Louise said...

Ah, what a fabulous lady like look. You look astounding. You seem to be a person who suits every colour! Xx

Vintage Sweetheart said...

I love these "demure" colours on you! I love the print too. That headpiece is gorgeous your friend is brilliant. xx

Sue said...

In my day we called it "Dry grinding"!!! Not that I ever took part in such things!! Ha ha!!! And don't you look just the picture of elegance today beautiful lady.

Miss Claire said...

So classy today, Helga, dry humping and all! I love that frock on you, and those sunnies are still killing me! Siggggghh! xxxxx

LandGirl1980 said...

I think you should sing us the song about dry humping :)

Maria said...

bleary eyed morning all a bit bleh until your delightful article! i am now quite alert, helga you look especially posh and fancy x

Ivy Black said...

Frankly, with you looking like that, you are most dry humpable.
xxxxx

Pull Your Socks Up! said...

Bloody hell, I'm wearing a frickin' hole in my laptop tray here!! Oh yes, 15, the age of revelation indeed, I never knew there was so much fun to be had with my pants on! But I continue to have many revealing moments, such as the sight of this fecktacious outfit which is utter perfection from your gorgeous topknot to your blue toe nails! Oh the stole!!!!! I'm doing a dirty burlesque number with that one in my head right now - rrrraaaaoooooowwwwww!!!! Bloody GORGEOUS glasses and your earrings and BAG!!!! Feckin hell!! xoxoxoxo

Pull Your Socks Up! said...

"Oh, my hump, my hump, my hump. My love lady lumps... here we go!"

Perdita said...

I want to hear the song too! :)

Adoring your hair bows this week, particularly. They're fab!

Miss Simmonds Says said...

wow! You're a peach delight. The title of the post made me snigger at work... oops. I enjoyed your dry humping revelations. I also have a dry humping past I shouldn't talk about. Anyway, you look fabularse of course, yet again ANY colour suits you. This is high glam, love the stole. Very ladylike XXXXX

Lena said...

Sacrebleu! You look amazing!x

Misfits Vintage said...

FUCK A FUCKING DUCK - THAT FROCK!!!!!

You look spec-frickin-TACular, darling - the hat, the HAT! And the matchy matchy shoes and bag - oh lord, I'm feeling faint... help me! You know I would dry hump you all day long. In my delicate youth we called it undie-fucking!

Love you more than that incredible frock! Sarah xxx

Kitty said...

Dry hunping indeed, just you wait 'til we get our own photo op, LOL!! You're looking quite THIN today my love what HAVE you done?!!

MistressCatgirl said...

You look so great. I love all the caramel shades. It really compliments your skin tone.

seƱora Allnut said...

you look elegantly gorgeous and love your matchy shoes and bag, and all that peachy shades, so pretty color combo!
besos & sexiness

Crystal Lee said...

God, I miss dry humping! You are one classy lady in that get up.

karensomethingorother said...

yeah, I admit it: I liked your dry humping memory. It reminded me of a time when touching boys (when I was a girl...there's no exciting story to tell now) was ELECTRIC.

Psycho Sue- Sew Misunderstood said...

ooooh sexy sexy! but i was kind of dissapointed when i didnt see dry hump photos or i would settle for a video! love the fur darhlink!

Heather Jean said...

hahahaha, well. This entire post makes me happy.

Vintage Coconut said...

*LOL* What a scandelous story Helga!
Love that hair accesory, you look quite sensational.

Dashfield Vintage said...

Ha ha ha ha nothing like a good dry humping story to catch my attention on an early Friday morning! I remember having a fair few ermm 'dry humping' sessions too as a teenager. Eww what a gross term! The dress looks absolutely beautiful on you! x

Krista said...

Dry humping I am laughing so hard right now thinking of lil Keith Saunders in 5th grade dry humping me and completely grossing me out. My best friend and I shared the same boyfriend after that incident I told her she could have him all to herself. what? I was only in 5th grade. Thanks for conjuring up that memory.

You look friggin magnificent, like a real movie star and dam girl I am loving this dress, the fur your hair I love it all! July will be here soon and I can't wait to see you in the flesh!
XOXOX
Krista

two squirrels said...

tee hee your so funny!!!! Blush blush.
Look at how pretty you are, the furry extra is just perfect.
The earring are going with so many outfits, Yay.
Love V

Terri said...

Ha--I hadn't thought of dry-humping in years...and I shall have dreams about it tonight, no doubt. Love the fur over one shoulder and your hair over the other.

Sara said...

This is just FABULOUS! One of my favorites! XO

Melanie said...

Excuse me, Madam, you must remove those tights - they are lawlessly gorgeous! In fact, this whole outfit is a violation!

Have you seen Alanis Morissette's spoof of My Humps done folk singer style? Hilaaarious.

Miss Tallulah Porkchop said...

Claire is a goddess.

You must have the best post titles in all of the blogesphere.

x

Trees said...

The title of your posts makes me giggle - also you look awesome xoxox

pastcaring said...

"Helga and Paul, sitiing in a tree
H-U-M-P-I-N-G"
Can't fit the "dry" part in. Bet neither of you were. Hahaha!
You look majestically gorgeous and matched-up, I adore that frock - and could it fit your magnificent body ANY better? I think not.
You are a delicious peach sundae. I'd dry hump you any day of the week, love! xxxx

Miss Peregrin said...

Dah-ling, that frock! It is amazing. You look like you should be walking the red carpet to win the award for wearing the most awesome frock ever. No wonder Desiree wants to dry hump you so much!

La Dama said...

Dry humping? all your title post make me laugh out loud amor.
It is never to late to dry hump.
You sirenlicious movie star!
I'm loving all the caramel goodness.
That fur stole my heart amor.

Besotes