If you feel the sudden urge to wash the steak knives

You will be happy to know that my feet were fully recovered by the time I started getting ready to go out for teppanyaki!
I most certainly was!
This is what I wore:

There's a pair of stonkingly high glittery gold heels under there!
Sadly, pix weren't quite up to scratch for an entire post.
Isn't the frock divoon, however?!
It was from the sexacious Desiree, and I SQUEEED extensively when I pulled it out of the parcel!
I'm so pleased (and amazed) I didn't arse over down these stairs; I was exceptionally drunk by this point.

Anyways, this outfit is what I wore the night before, when we went out with friend and bandmate Nix for pizza and to see a couple of foxy wenches perform down at The Brewery.

Frock-shortened 80's heaven from beautiful Lucy
Shoes-L*A*M*B, opshopped
Bag-30's, off some website
Stole-40's, opshopped
Sunglasses-Wasteland, San Francisco
Bow-gorgeous Sarah
60's clip on earrings-darling Kitty
Beads-the sexacious Desiree

Here's a little story:
On Friday evening, before we went out, I decided to paint my toenails.
I don’t usually do it myself, I’m bloody useless, can’t keep within the lines, so G does it for me.
He was flitting about, and I didn’t want to bother him, so I went for it with some lemon Barry M nail varnish. 2 coats, not too bad. Then I decided to do a layer of what I thought was clear with red glitter…it was red with red glitter…o, well, so now I have red toenails rather than yellow with red glitter.
Then I promptly gauged a chunk off it off my left big toenail.

I may the girliest of girls, being into frocks, handbags, pink, blah blah……but I just cannot get to grips with the girliness of painting my toenails.
In fact, I never even bother with my fingernails.
I don’t ever go to the hairdressers. I hardly ever  buy much makeup or hair crap.
Maybe I’m not so girly after all?!
Or am I just low maintenance?!

O, I covered the messy hole on my toe with a bindi…….sorted!



Anonymous said...

Covering with a Bindi...genius! Love the whole outfit especially those gorge orange tights! Im the same with nails but there's a few beauty salons here yay x

Hollie "Jet" Black-Ramsey said...

I don't go to the nail salon or hair salon or buy a ton of makeup and I own one pink dress (that I hate). I'm a recovering tomboy but I'll say you're "Glamorously Low Maintenance".

Anonymous said...

Your blog is hilariously fabulous!! Let's keep in touch!!


OP SHOP MAMA said...

You look bloody glamorous for a drunkiard!!! Seriously - that dress - GET OUT!!!! So good!!!! You will have to do une autre post dedicated to that dress surely. Put it on again and prance around please..

Love the other outfit. Magnifique. Why am I talking french today FFS?
x Blessings on your bosom.

Janice Tutone said...

Holy Smokes! You look fab in both outfits! XXX

Sara said...

OMG, a QUEEN descending the staircase. That frock is a treasure! How FABULOUS! Oooh, and I adore the orange tights. Yum scrum! You gorgeous vixen! XO

Melanie said...

Stonkingly is my new favourite word. Both of these looks put the gorge in gorgeous. The first one looks like royalty and the second like you are a go-go dancer from Xenon (just like the word)! It's a favourite look - your legs look a mile (2.5 kilometers) long. I have never had a manicure. Oh well.

PinkCheetahVintage said...

So GLAM in the long maxi dress!! Is that a sequin cape-let??? Love the mini dress fantastic print and the black cage shoes!! Wow--you are low maintenance... Maybe you're so naturally hot you just don't have to do anything. I'm jealous.
Becky :)

Radostin said...

Damn, you are just SO FABULOUS!

The Grande Dame said...

Ooh you look positively goddessy in that maxi dress! Love your second outfit too, the blue and orange are great together. I've never noticed you don't wear nailpolish - with everything else you've got going on I hardly think it matters! You look ravishing anyway!

Carina Rosenholm said...

Great dresses!
Im not that girlie' either , nailpolish? - never looks good when im done .

Brooke F said...

You are so right. That dress is absolutely divoon! And don't get me started on those orange tights.
Love, love, love the looks!

two squirrels said...

The dress on the stairs is amazing!!!!! Perfect on you in every way!!!!
Hmmm you know what sweet, I am like you. I love all the girly things....dresses(in the hundreds), shoes, handbags, scarves, coats, and hats. But I don't go to the hairdressers, do my nails, dye my hair, go for beauty treatments of any kind. I am to scared in most cases, I just get to nervous.
Oh well.
love V

Anonymous said...

You look divine in both the dresses, I really don't know which one I prefer, they are both stunning !The stole is amazing too!
It sounds like a wonderful weekend, except for the toenails accident.. I'm a low mantainance kind of girl too , mostly because I have a personal sense of style and distorted perception of myself and I don't want anybody to touch me or change me, I hate hairdressers and I know that they hate my orange hair and my bangs!
Lots of love

delia hornbook said...

ha ha im just like you I don't paint my fingers nail either I cant stand having them painted and then chipping I always have my toe nails done though. I don't even own a hair dryer and have only just started playing around with my hair and im 41 :-) But I do like a girly dress etc as you know. Your looking gorgeous as ever, dee xxx

Aunty Bee said...

Love, love the tights, many years ago while working at a large hospital on the outskirts of this city, our department had to wear grey uniforms with brown cardies.Oh the humanity, so J and I bought brightly coloured tights and wore them,(rebellious wee monkeys that we were) and they couldn't stop us because they had not specified the colour of tights to be worn.What a fashion rebel I was in those days.

pastcaring said...

Oh how utterly magnificent you look in that maxi from Desiree! And how on earth you negotiated a maxi, high heels and stairs while pissed is beyond me, but then you are beyond fabulous and talented! And mmmm, sequinned cape love!
Love the mile long orange legs with the gorgeous shortened frock and those LAMB stripper heels!
So the lesson from the toe nail story is - G must be available at all times to attend to your needs. Look what happens when he's not there! I like the idea of all the girly stuff, doing hair and nails and stuff, but I am crap at it. Nails I can manage, but make up falls off my face, my hair looks the same whatever I do, and all those endless makeup review blogs bore me to tears! I will stick to frocks, I can manage that!
Love you more than strategically placed bindis! xxxxxx

Rose&Bird said...

Lurve the stripy dress - walking down the stairs with heels and a maxi while pissed? Respect! I had to look twice at your second outfit - I thought you were wearing hotpants! What a great idea for covering polish faux pas - though I would probably end up with a Thomas the Tank Engine sticker!

Veshoevius said...

That frock from Desiree is divine! You look regal! And is that a sequin capelet I spy over your shoulders? How fabulous!
Love the orange tights too!

Kitty said...

Bindis as cover-up? Insane genius, you crazy-beautiful thing!!! And
FYI I'd be breaking the lock on any gate to get through to your sexacious orange limbs!!

Misfits Vintage said...

Holy bejayzus that maxi is INCREDIBLE!!!!! You look absolutely fabularse, my love - your HAIR is DIVINE and you are a dreamy movie star goddess coming down those stairs in all of your glory.

And the second dress is PERFECT for showing off your exquisite legs! And HELLO SHOES!!!

Love you more than glitter nail polish!

Sarah xxx

LandGirl1980 said...

BAM! That is all.

My sister is Margaret said...

You look so divine in both the dresses.Perfect on you in every way!!
You looking gorgeous as always!!
The dress on the stairs is amazing too!!
Love your style :)

Vix said...

I'd done't know which frock I( love more 'cos you look banging in them both!
Desiree's maxi and Lucy's mini, what divine blogging buddies we have! Those orange tights and stripper heels have me all hot and bothered!
Beauty stuff is so friggin' boring, who notices a botched toenil or 7 year old eyeshadow when you've got plenty of bastard jewellery and a psychedelic frock on?
Love you! xxxxxxx

Vintage Bird Girl said...

Hello luscious orange legs!!! You look smokin hot in the mini teamed with those "No Doubt" shoes. Fabularse & beautiful all at once. Xx

Llara G said...

Crackin' pins you beauty! I painted my nails light blue the other day, sponged dark blue over then added a coat of glitter. Then whacked one off the table and took a chunk out. For fuck sake. And this is why I often don't bother my arse doing my nails...

thorne garnet said...

Love both outfits and those shoes. Too bad for me,my feet would rebel. I can paint my left fingernails with on problem, for the right I'd do better with my eyes closed.

tanaya said...

You are divine in that maxi and the orange and black swoon and the fur stole double swoon...Yours and Vix's post are going to be making babies in my dreams...What a babie it would be! x

Val Sparkle said...

You're just selectively girly - you go for the big-impact feminine touches. You look like a Hollywood star in that long dress, and the outfit with the orange tights is so full of WOW factor I just don't know where to begin! I would end with those LAMB shoes - I could die happy wearing those.

Anonymous said...

The maxi frock is just uterly magnificent!!! You look so regal on the stairs!

I'm crushing on you in your fab mini, HAWT orange tights and those sexy shoes!!

Krista Gassib said...

This is part of why I love you!!!! You are a girlie girl who is down to earth. I think too much fuss becomes well just too much! I adore both frocks but the mini one from Lucy with the orange tights is friggin spectacular on you! Those heels are sexy and I could also see them of Vix. You calls and your heels amaze me!

I also love G a little bit more any man who will paint his woman's toes makes me feel a bit warm and fuzzy inside!


Melanie said...

You look beautiful in the maxi dress! Just like a goddess :)

Louise Mc said...

You should wear short skirts more often, you have lovely legs. I'm really lazy about nail painting too, and I've given up on the hairdressers too. Xx

Franca said...

Divine frock indeed!

Renia said...

You look amazing! I want your frock:)! Kisses x x x x

Miss Simmonds Says said...

I just read "oh I covered my messy hole" and my mind went into overdrive. You look like a goddess in the first photo and always like you're about to writhe around to some sleazy rock n roll. I'm shite at painting my nails, all of them. I love nail varnish but I'm rubbish with it.... ps, wow, again to the gold dress, you're a rock star! xxxxx

Emalina said...

You're a total goddess sex queen in both those dresses! I adore the grace of the first (impressive to look graceful when so sozzled) and the second reveals your amazing legs! Those incredible heels! The legs again! Can't get enough of them :)

It made me laugh to read your nail varnish trouble, I'm just as bad myself, similarly I never get a hair cut nor even know how wear foundation. We're natural beauties sweetie, we don't need to spend money on that stuff!

Style Sud-Est said...

Hello Helga!
So happy you drop by!
Bindi on toe nail? That is such a great idea, hahaha!
Got a bunch in SF, i will try it
God i love this look, the dress, the orange tights, the shoes, it' so perfect Darling!

Ariane xxxx

Camelia Crinoline said...

I love all the little orange pops. Those shoes are fab. You look so tall and elegant in that maxi dress. I'm the same. Even though I like girly clothes, I can't be bothered with other girly stuff. I always have really short unpainted nails, most of the time I can't even be bothered brushing my hair and I certainly don't like paying to get it cut.

bonsaimum said...

Splendiferous as ever. :)

Lucys Lounge said...

you look stunning as always . both dresses are great. i go to the barbers to get my hair cut. i have just started to wear make up most i get as cast off from friends. however it never looks right on me. . you don't need make up you always look beautiful. please tell me how many dressed you have ? i love them all. your neighbours are lucky to see you every day. lucyx

freckleface said...

I scanned to begin with and saw the words 'foxy wench'. That's you that is in that mini-dress-legs-apart-shot. In the other one you are a divine apparition. I was squinting to try to make out if that gorgeous gold collar was part of the dress, but thank goodness for Curtise. It's a cape/collar thingy. Heavenly, just heavenly. Good work you foxy thing.

Nail polish, I get impatient waiting for it to dry. But I once did a quiz and it turns out I'm less than 40% girly, so that explains that. Wolver G is just a marvel isn't he? xxxx

Miss Maple said...

Love your orange jewellery and the bow in your hair. The vintage bag is gorgeous and your orange tights are breath-taking.

WendyB said...

You're too fabulous. If I saw you on the street, I'd be running after you asking to take your picture!

Devil made in Heaven said...

I wished I've had your legs...... Love your dress and bag.
And I have the same problems with my nails. Hand and toe. Most of the time the nailpolisch is all over my hands or feeth. It is 2 years ago since my last visit to the hairdresser, and I have a very little bag with make-up. It is just low maintenance. :D As long as you keep popping up as gorgeous as ever there is nothing wrong! :D

The Pugnacious Vegetarian said...

The pattern on that dress plus those tights makes me very, very happy!

Dirty Thrifty Shopper said...

umm shoes... ummm AMAZING !

JG Ruddock said...

That print on the dress.
That orange.
Your style.