Raising hell at the 7th Veil-have you read the news?




Dear wee tractor
How you make me laugh
I mustn't roll about on you
Just in case I barf.

You're really very sturdy
I could lie up here all week
You make want to spread my legs
And give the boys a peek.

It really is quite civilised
To writhe upon your back
To throw my cautions to the wind
To feel a cool breeze on my crack.













Frock and jacket-made 'em myself
Gloves-opshopped
Sunglasses-G's Elvis ones, from Vegas, naturally
Shoes-Trade Me
Necklace-Wasteland, San Francisco
Earrings-Selcuk, Turkey
Flowers-stuck onto a clip by moi
Petticoat-Ecetera Vintage

Poem-sweated over for hours.....

X

37 comments:

Sue said...

Green gloves and tractor poetry how utterly fabulous!!

kate steeper said...

something to chuckle over on a freezing damp gloomy winters morning

pastcaring said...

Now that's art, darling!
You in pink and green and Elvis shades, petticoats -swooshing, legs akimbo, atop a little green tractor, and poetry of the finest order. Doesn't get any better than this on a Saturday morning, love!
Hope your crack enjoyed the airing. LOVE YOU!!!!! xxxxx

Vix said...

Just what I needed on a freezing, bastard cold Saturday morning! Lets akimbo, undies showing and a big piece of machinery...oooh eeerrr!
Frickin' fabularse!
Love you! xxxxx

OP SHOP MAMA said...

Bahahahahah. Love the green-ness. x A wordsmith too! x

Sandra said...

oh I love the cavorting on a tractor, crack airing is very invigorating and the epic poetry is wonderful, just what I need right now, bourbon has decided to be very mean to me this morning, very very mean x x x

Fiona said...

Bwahahahahha, I bet John Deere never saw the like.
xx

Helen Le Caplain said...

You need to write an anthology of said poems to sell to the vintage masses.

ALSO thought you might be interested in a craft project in Crafty Mag http://www.craftymag.com/ featuring a Frida Kahlo stitched cushion cover - thought it'd be a welcome addition to your home! xxx

Carina Rosenholm said...

First time an old John Dere tractor has such a glourious driver!
Xxx

Krista Gassib said...

Ride on baby ride! Next time you are in Oregon I have a tractor you gotta meet:). You have started my day off fabulously with all this naughtiness! You are gorgeous, in that dress with G's shades spreading eagle!

I got the most special treat in the mail yesterday, my fav is the magazine with you on the cover, proudly displayed on my coffee table! Love the belt too and other bits! Thank you so much honey!

Loveyoumoreeachtine!
Xxxxxxxxx

thorne garnet said...

only you, dear Helga, could match your outfit to a tractor!

seƱora Allnut said...

green gloves and a matchy tractor are perfect to create poetry!, and all your fabulousness flashing undies and all!! naughtiness!!, hurrah for that!
besos & green

Brooke F said...

That tractor looks pretty bloody happy! Hilarious and fabulous - as only you know how, divine Miss Helga. It was hard to look at your clothes what with all that going on but I did notice how gorgeous your hand made jacket is.XXX

Renia said...

So amazing photos! You look so pretty in green :)! Kisses x x x x x

Janey G said...

my dad used to own a fergie tractor but never did he ever have it graced by such a beauty as you! just divine, hysterical, beautiful and wondrous as always xxxxx

Melanie said...

Dare I say you look like the cat that just ate the, um, muffler...! I agree, this is ART. This tractor has never looked better. The poetry is a summer breeze - it should be in a song.

Indigo Violet said...

Like a princess she was layin' there / sunlight dancin' off her hair / such a vision I have never seen / she made love to her tractor green.

Camelia Crinoline said...

They should make you a poet laureate immediately on the basis of your tractor poem. That jacket is fabulous. I love the print.

The Black Opal said...

Ha ha ha!!!! Thank you!!!!!
You've just made my day!

Catherine said...

Dont sit on that tractor too long or the Mr will get jealous!

Ulla-Marie Nilsson said...

In Sweden there is a television program called "Farmer Wants a Wife" and I think you could sell these photos expensive to the production company.

Ivy Black said...

Perfection. If anyone can sex up a tractor, it's you. Actually my old man wants a tractor. He wants one all the more now!
xxxxx

his_girl_friday said...

Way to make a tractor look sexy!

In the Ruins of Berlin said...

You´re my favorite John Deere calendar girl! xxx

Sacramento Amate said...

Hahhahahahahha. You are just sooooooooooo lovely, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Much, much love.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Sheila said...

Helga, you are such a naughty girl - I love it!

Teresa said...

Hahaha! You are amazing!

Forest City Fashionista said...

The ol' John Deere has never looked better - you make a scrumptious hood ornament! In a couple of those photos you look like you've been ravaged by the farmer's son and abandoned on the tractor.

Suzanne Carillo Style Files said...

Wow…I never thought that driving a tractor could be sexy! LOL

bisous
Suzanne

freckleface said...

Wow, you little sauce pot! That's hot stuff for a Monday morning. Bet G enjoyed that photoshoot more than any he's ever done. ;) You do make me laugh! xxxxxxx

Mrs. D said...

the tractor pin up photos just cracked me up. I had to scroll past them very quickly because I'm at work lol

Delia Ryder said...

Well you have just made me smile ;-) Looking fabulous as always, dee xx

Ariane Lasalle said...

The tractor industry will never be the same! You should send them a pic, maybe you could be their poster girl! You are crazy and fun -

Tamera Wolfe said...

Flange needs to put that poem to music!!

Ah tractor porn!!! you look fabulous being all saucy and raunchy on that tractor!!

bonsaimum said...

LOL. I will never look at a tractor the same way again.

Hollie "Jet" Black-Ramsey said...

Farm-erotica by Helga!

nessbow.com said...

*Giggle* You're such a minx!