And if I catch you coming round here again, I'm gonna serve it you

I had a couple of days training at work this week.
Now, work isn't something I like to talk about; it's nothing to do with who I am, it's just a pay packet that gets me what I want. I could give it up now that we've paid off our mortgage, but I have some plans that require a good bit of cash still coming in, and my work isn't terribly taxing nor soul destroying.
(I have a mixed role of data entry and admin in a warehouse)
I can wear what I want, generally work autonomously, and occasionally get to drive a forklift.
Anyways, I digress.

I need some fun and laughs in my day to day, and this training was rather dry and eye glazing...doesn't help that I'm just not good in a stuffy room with someone talking at me.
So when we were able to offer ideas for improving the course, I perked up like a cat getting a shot of catnip up the bum.
I think I'm onto some grand ideas here; perhaps you'll agree....

My proposals:
The tutor would garner more attention if dressed like a clown.
We should all be in fancy dress.
Fear is a good motivator-a few wild animals prowling around the room would keep us very motivated indeed.
Tequila shots on the hour, every hour
A dance-o-mat in the center of the room where we throw our best moves as the feeling takes us.
A paddle pool full of custard for when it all gets too much.
There were a few other nuggets of brilliance, but I've forgotten them now.

I have to admit, being in a room with people who take their career very seriously inspires my sense of the ridiculous.
Shit stirrer, moi?!
Quite possibly.......

Frock-70's square dance, from a market last weekend
Jacket-70's, opshopped a few years ago
Belt-a garage sale
Handbag-60's, vintage shop in Portland, Oregon
Bow-made it myself out of a scrap of crimplene
Necklace-60's, a market last year in Wellington
Earrings-from the sexacious Desiree
Sunglasses-Catch a Thief



Ross Davies said...

I'm hoping you got to announce your ideas to your fellows and that you got gasps of surprise followed by cheering. Stirrers should be celebrated.

Melanie said...

A paddle pool full of custard, fancy dress... Let me know when they take up your ideas and I'll be on the next plane down with an application in my hand. With your brilliance I'm amazed you're not CEO. You shouldn't have to attend these meetings anyway because you are such a gorgeous distraction. Love your red, white and blue.

Sue said...

Your ideas are like you and your outfit, bloody fabulous!!! I hate courses and thankfully in a job where course are not required. Work is a necessary evil, thankfully I only have to work part time. I bet you totally enjoy driving the forklift, and you a shit stirrer, NOT A CHANCE!!

Jazzy Jack said...

How you manage to have so many coordinating things is ay-may-zing!!
You must have kept everyone awake just being in the room;-)
Why does driving a forklift sound so enticing...?!

Sarah Jane said...

Oh the drudge of the team meeting or mandatory training as we have in the NHS, ugh! I've been there. I feel exactly the same about my job as you do. I'm lucky to be enjoying a few months off at the moment. Love your ideas for stirring things up especially fancy dress and the Danceomat. Might suggest those myself xxx

beate grigutsch said...

olala la tricolore!!
trés chic!
can you please install a webcam in that training room if your suggestions grow real ;-)

STAshworth said...

Being able to wear what you want is no small thing, and who could give up a job in which you get to drive a forklift?

Carol said...

Oh man, I wish I could drive a forklift!

Gorgeous red-white-blue-ness!

Vintage Bird Girl said...

This outfit makes me feel all kinds of happy! I am loving the matchy matchy perfection. Square dancing frocks suit you to a T! Missing you and my Addington french toast! Xx

Beth Waltz said...

Doesn't Desiree of Pull Your Socks Up! name her favorite ensembles? May we name this tri-color outfit "Under the Double Eagle" for the high-energy march much favored for patriot parades here in the States? One can imagine you -- and only you, Helga -- wearing this outfit driving a forklift in a parade!

Vix said...

Oh yes, I've been in some of those tedious training sessions, those earnest types whose hands shoot up when the person in charge asks "any questions and trying to pinch yourself to stop the eyelids from closing. Your ideas are splendid, what meeting couldn't be improved with custard wrestling and impromptu dance moves?
Loving the colour combo and that glorious handbag. Like minds today, I think!
Love you! xxxxxx

diaryofapennypincher said...

Crikey, I haven't seen that much red, white and blue since 1977! Hope some of your work ideas were approved, the custard pool sounds a great idea!

Curtise said...

Oh you are naughty - but I like you! I remember the days of tedious training, and I am glad I don't have to do that shite any more...
Drunk on tequila, dancing in custard with a few wild animals - now that sounds like fun!
You're a vision in red, white and blue today, darling - regal and delicious, and even a matching handbag! I bet if you did a twirl, that frock would fly out most splendidly and show your safety pants - there's a thought to finish on, phhoooar!
Love ya, babe, have a great weekend. I'll give Kate your love! xxxx

peaches mcginty said...

Oh my goodness! I HATED training, I was quite disruptive at times, now if there was a dance mat, trainers dressed as clowns and tequila, now I would have been on my best behavior, these ideas are genius! I wanna drive a forklift, and you are a red/white and blue dream x x x

Shawna McComber said...

LOL-does anybody like training even in non-stuffy rooms? As a teacher I had to attend a helluva lot of workshops and they ranged from deadly dull to waaaayyy too touchy-feely.

Oh how I want to drive a forklift.

In other news: You look awesome!
Happy Weekend.

freckleface said...

HAHAHA! I love all your suggestions! How did they go down? You have far too lively and brilliant a mind to be constrained. I bet you're a devil on the fork lift truck!! I also like the idea of you as a perky kitty with a bit of catnip to inspire you. Superb. My recent training includes safeguarding and databases. How did it happen? I was going to be a princess! Thank God there's dressing up to fall back on. Talking of which, look the hell at you you foxy minx, you luscious temptress in red, white and blue! Bloody lovely. Miaow! Xxxxxxxx

Tilda said...

You are the mistress of the mix! No one puts together patterns and colors as well as you :)
The one official 40 hour a week job I had in my life involved numerous brain-gouging meetings that usually were pointless or further complicated things. And, because we were in them for a couple of hours, we got behind on the actual work that we were doing and had to scramble to catch up. Custard pools and tequila would have made it a considerably better

Anonymous said...

Fab suggestions there, must admit I hate dull training sessions too but I would give anything to be working again!!

Loving how nautical you look!! :)


Goody said...

I can tell you from experience that suggesting they let the workers control the means of production will get you blank stares and awkward silence when they ask for, "Suggestions."

Oh I do love a good red/white/blue combo in the most luxurious synthetic fabric. The bag is ever so pretty too.

Hope you survive the training sessions with your sense of humour intact. Work would be so much nicer without coworkers.

Oranges and Apples said...

I haven't been commenting on anything for a while but i always look at your posts in my reader and you always look great, today being no exception!

bonsaimum said...

LOL. Go Helga!

Catherine said...

Helga! I am hiring you as my personal mentor, life coach immediatly! With some short stints coaching others in awesomeness, I think we can make everyone injoy their life and jobs as we do.
And yay for forklifts and that red white and blue outfit!

Krista Gassib said...

You are a wise gorgeous creature! I feel exactly like you do about my job, all it does is pay the bills. I think you have a perfect perspective and now what matters most. I think I would sit next to you at any wirk meeting and I love all your off the wall ideas! It's been so long since I goT to disrupt a serious meeting, I want to now!
So what are you saving up for honey? Tell tell tell!!!!
Love you darling in this red white and blue explosion!

Forest City Fashionista said...

Cheers to you, in your red, white and blue! I would definitely sign up for a course with you (although I'm not sure about the clown costume for the instructor, that could be creepy). I gave up pretending that I had ambitions regarding my job years ago. It's my means to an end, and I'm glad I don't hate it, and most days it's quite alright.

Lucy in the Sky said...

I got a good laugh reading this post, what wonderful proposals haha! Love the red, white and blue mixing and matching that is your outfit. The stripey cardigan with the printed dress look brilliant together!

Sheila said...

Woo, I am on board for your proposals. I second the motion, bring on the tequila! I also do admin, but nothing as fun as driving a forklift (I do get to maneuver catering carts around, and I do make "vroom, vroom!" noises when I do it).

Love your glorious colours!

Hollie "Jet" Black-Ramsey said...

You on a forklift? SEXY!!

The Pugnacious Vegetarian said...

That bag is great! Also, if you need a clown to lead training, may I offer my services? I could visit you and dress like a clown. Win win! xoxo

Ariane Lasalle said...

Hi there lovely!
I know don't comment much but i do look at your blog!
But this time i had to comment -
I'm with you on what you said, i'm right now in the process of finding another job and it drives my bonkers, all those cover letters you have to write and forever rewrtting the darn CV! I could not care less, i would not work at all but i need still some cash - All those people taking their carreer so seriously, all the bullsit you have to articulate when on interviews...As far as i'm concern i could walk dogs and feed cats for a living - I don't care for the corporate life anymore!
I remember all those stupid meetings and training, people falling asleep ...
I quit blogging but having serious's addictive isn't?

All i can say after all i have said is don't change at all!
I loved your ideas! I will remember them if ever in a boring training!



FeltByRae said...

I have always fancied driving a forklift!

Love, love your outfit... divine and you look stunning


señora Allnut said...

dear lady, your proposals are just my kind of ideas when attending a meeting at work (oh yeah, admin workers are usually wild!!)
your outfit make me want to run to squeeze you through the oceans and continents!!, crazy blue and red and white always lovely, and you look so fabulous wearing them!!!!
besos & working girls

Trees said...

I just have a great image of you being all frocked up driving a fork lift!! You rock red, white & blue!

Sadie von Scrumptious said...

Adoring both this outfit and this glimpse into your life and mind!